I don't want to ride. Another low.

After yesterday's fall, I feel quite fragile.

My forearm hurts and when I go over bumps, it jars.

I feel like I don't have control of the bike.  I'm not sure if this is mental, or if it's because of my sore forearm.

I feel really cautious and want to cycle really slow.

I don't feel I have the confidence I had before, of taking up the lane, merging into traffic.

Husband said perhaps it's another low.

And that training / sports involves highs and lows.

I've never done this stuff before so I don't know.

I feel like I'm another crossroads where the fear monster is trying to eat me again.

I'm not sure whether I should force myself to keep riding or rest.

I probably need a rest, but if I take a break, I worry that the fear monster will grow bigger and it will be harder to fight it.

We'll see.

(via tendergraces.blogspot.com.au)

Ouchies. How embarrassment.

So I fell off my bike today.

I was eastbound on William St and the cycleway was about to end, and I decided to mount a driveway but because the cycleway was quite narrow, I didn't get much of a angle and my wheel slid alongside the driveway edge and my bike fell on its side (left) and I slide on my left side a couple of metres across the footpath.

It felt pretty dramatic (fast and stuff everywhere) and people rushed towards me to check I was ok, but I was more embarrassed than anything, responding "I'm ok, thank you, thank you, I'm ok, thank you, thank you, I'm ok, thank you, thank you".

I visually checked my bike and everything seemed intact, but on getting back on the bike, realised my chain had fallen off.

While I was putting it back on (thank you Sydney Cycleways Maintenance course), a guy came and gave me a tip on how to get the chain back on without getting my hands dirty.

Apparently you move the derailleur to the outside, and then you can just spin the wheel and it will hook on.

I've not tried it, as my chain was pretty much back on when we did it, but something to keep in mind.

I thought I was fine (adrenalin) and it wasn't until a few minutes later on my way home, when things started hurting.

I ended up cycling home at about 16km/hr (which is SOOOOOO slow for me - I usually do 20km/hr) but quite comfortable actually.

Husband suggested maybe I'm finding it difficult to separate my commuting and my road cycling.  But I find that when there's traffic (usual commute hours), I tend to go faster so I'm not blocking traffic.  But when there are less vehicles around (like tonight), I can relax a bit more and ride the speed I like.

Things that hurt (the list got longer once the hours rolled by):

1. left shoulder bruise
2. left forearm bruise - at dinner, husband thought maybe it was a fracture, but with my hypochondria, we figure if it was a fracture, I would be making it pretty obvious
3. right knee bruise
4. left wrist - which is starting to feel worse as the night is continuing

Things that surprisingly don't hurt:

1. head - my head did not touch the ground.
2. left leg - we think my pannier bag (on the left) gave my bike some clearance and prevented crushing my left leg under the bike.

In hindsight, I think the stress of cycling into the city perhaps made me push the confidence level a bit too far.

But I still hadn't worked out how to join the William St cycleway (which ends 1 block before Bourke St) to the Bourke St Cycleway

I think I have to continue on the road (when the cycleway stops) and then slow down and turn left onto the footpath and do a u-turn to cross the road as a pedestrian.  (But I don't like turning onto footpaths because I feel like I'm threatening to pedestrians waiting to cross the road).

I saw another person keep going on the road, turn left off William St (staying on the road), then somehow get onto the footpath and line up behind the pedestrians waiting to cross William ST, like a mini loop de loop.

I'll work it out eventually... but I think it would be nice if there was just one more block of cycleway!!

In other news, a friend saw my photo (above) and said "Look at your quads! When I'm home in December, can I touch them?" which is totally the best compliment ever!

Things That Make Me Happy / Inspire Me

Cyclists wearing bright colours

(via MC Cyclery on Facebook)

When I first started wearing lycra, I wanted to look as bland as possible.

Then I noticed what some of the other cyclists were wearing.

And I wanted in!

Female cyclists showing their bike style

These women inspired me because they actually described cycling / commuting in normal clothes, including the challenges as well as the joy.

Melissa from Bike Pretty:

Jeanne from Bike Stylish / Elephant Journal:

Janet from One Woman, Many Bicycles (and her awesome Flickr photostream!):

Dottie from Let's Go Ride A Bike:

(This video is kind of funny in that it feels like ridiculous overkill for our mild Sydney winters.)

Bikeyface - accurately comical cartoons about the challenges of cycling:

(So accurate - sometimes when I'm feeling fragile, I channel "delicate woman" when getting dressed and get prepared to trade in some verbal harassment for a bit more car passing distance.  Sad but true.).

It's actually pretty cool that I've actually been in contact with a couple of these ladies through instagram and twitter to thank them for being my inspiration, and they in turn have been so humble and informed me that they were only passing forward the inspiration they received from others. 

Like a cycle of inspiration.  Hehehe..  Cycle.. GEDDIT?

Professional road cyclists

Jens Voigt
He is my favourite cyclist.  He's known for being pretty hardcore and he just has a really great, down to earth sense of humour.

Having watched him cycle for a number of years and see his attitude at how he breaks the peleton* by cracking people at high speed, he has really inspired me to push through the mental challenges.  Not only for cycling, but for jogging and boxing as well.

*peleton = descriptive term for the large group of road cyclists - there's usually a large group of them all riding together, and then a few small groups off the front and back.

Jens Voigt Facts

Eg. "Jens Voigt will never have a heart attack. Jens Voigt's heart isn't stupid enough to attack him."

Orica Greenedge
Australian professional road cycling team.  They publish a series of videos called Backstage Pass where you get to see behind the scenes of their races.  It's amazing and just feels like so much fun and camaraderie (in addition to their hard work and dedication).

Their videos are so awesome and down to earth with that Aussie humour - apparently it turned a bicycle hating truck driver into a cyclist who wears that "lycra crap".  Amazing!

Marianne Vos.  
Maybe the best female cyclist at the moment - she just wins everything!

"It's not about the number of rainbow jerseys I've won"

Um.....  we wouldn't discount your 13 WORLD CHAMPION TITLES..

Anna Meares
Australian female track cyclist.

Insano!

And this hardcore contract with her husband:

Which leads me to...

My husband

For believing in my ability.

Even when I don't.

For moments like I describe in this previous post: "Gosh my husband shits me"

(Instagram or it didn't happen)

And finally...

Myself!

It's been a couple of months and I've come such a long way!!

And I know there's so more to the journey ahead and it's going to be super fun!!

One reason I cycle is because no parking annoys me

I get really annoyed at the unavailability of parking - Pyrmont, the city, and now Kingsford.

It really makes this article hit home about why cycling is necessary.

"Bike-hate is not principally about delay. Motorists show remarkable patience for other cars. They’ll sit comfortably behind stoppers, parkers, turners and incompetents of all kinds. But sitting behind a bike makes many people mad. Really mad. Why? Because bikes represent cultural change. Cultural change is threatening.

This is ironic, since the bike easily predates the car. But the bike is also the form of the future. That makes it dangerous.

Don’t get me wrong. I love driving. I adore road trips. But this isn’t about what I want. Sadly, it’s not even about what you want. It’s about the wants of the other 7.2 billion planetary humans. Which makes it, simply, obvious. We can’t all drive everywhere."

Full article here http://www.smh.com.au/comment/culture-wars-on-the-roads-20140514-zrcb7.html 

It's odd, now I find when I get in the car, I can actually feel myself getting more annoyed the longer I spend in the car.

Because cycling makes me so happy, it's like I have more and more awareness of the effects of sitting in a car in traffic.

(via http://bikeyface.com/2012/04/19/midnight-misadventures/)

Hehe.  Yep, still can't fix my own bike..

Gosh my husband shits me

Yesterday.

Me: I can't drink out of my water bottle while riding.
Husband: You can.
Me: No I can't.
Husband: Just try it.  You just can't because you think you can't.

Me (inside my head): OH MY GOSH YOU GIVE ME THE SHITS, WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS TELLING ME I CAN DO THINGS WHEN I CAN'T AND IT IS JUST SO FRUSTRATING AND ANNOYING, JUST ACCEPT THAT SOMETIMES I CAN'T DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN DO!!!

Me (inside my head - logical voice): I guess I have to have a go to prove him wrong.

I then proceeded to ride with one hand and drink from my water bottle while riding perfectly well.

Me: Ergh, thanks for that.
Husband: That's fine.  It was all you.
Me: Yeah, I got pretty shitty.
Husband: Yeah I know.  Learning is difficult sometimes.
Me: Yeah, but it probably shouldn't be that annoying for the teacher!

Damn me for picking such a great husband.

(via ianchachere.tumblr.com)

Riding In The Drops

I signed up for a hill climbing workshop next week.

The workshop will be starting at Akuna Bay marina and climbing West Head.

In the email, it said "It is important to note that this is an Intermediate/Advanced session. As a guide, you should be able to ride in your drops for the descends."

Riding in the drops is when your arms are at the lower part of the road bike handbars - see the 4th picture:

(image via sheldonbrown.com)

I freaked out a little bit.

I have ridden in the drops once - descending at the Bobbin Head ride - and proceeded to lose control of my bike and almost run into the corner (I took it too wide).

Granted, on the descent of the longest ride I'd ever tried to achieve, and down the steepest incline I'd ever tried to ride may not have been the best moment to choose to first try riding in the drops.

(I tried it because from the drops - you get more leverage on pulling the brake levers, which is super useful on a long descent.)

So I have 1 week to learn how to ride in the drops.

My husband said it'll take me a matter of minutes - it's not that different to the hoods (where I sit mostly - see 3rd picture).

I'm a bit worried but I'm going to put some hours in Centennial Park tomorrow and practice going up and down the cat ears in the drops.

I'll be ok, right?

(image via http://www.pinterest.com/tiffdawg8/cats/)

Feminism & Cycling Advocacy

2 posts in one day!  Lots on my mind right now.  :)

So tonight my husband told me I was extraordinary.

He said that I had taken up cycling and instead of just focussing on getting faster, I am putting energy into cycling advocacy and helping others.

It reminded me of an article I read this morning.

Link: http://msmagazine.com/blog/2014/05/08/shailene-woodley-is-why-feminists-need-to-take-over-school-boards/

I am a feminist.

I am proud to be a feminist.

I think my passion for cycling advocacy is similar to my passion for feminism.

Unfortunately as both are quite heavy duty campaigns to take on, my focus is on cycling advocacy this year.  (My 2013 was heavily focussed on feminism and I was very proud of the knowledge I gained and the changes I influenced)

The relevant bit of the article is:

"There are no sparkly Feminist Fairies running around sprinkling Feminist Fairy Dust on girls and boys. No Feminist Mindmelders transferring feminist history by osmosis. Feminists don’t spontaneously happen. 

With some fairly minor exceptions, people who understand feminism and identify as feminists generally get there by dint of personal need, curiosity, experience and hard work—all of which are explicitly counter-cultural.  If they are lucky, they have parents and teachers who teach them."

So I thought this was an interesting paragraph, especially because you can replace "feminist" with "cycling advocate" and it still works pretty well.

I'm a cycling advocate because of my personal need, curiosity, experience and hard work.

And they also appear to be counter-cultural.

It's not because I love bicycles and hate anything that's not a bicycle.  

(Similar to how feminists don't hate anything that's not female).

It's because I enjoy cycling, and I wish the situation was safer, less aggressive, more constructive, and I am curious about what I can do to help.

And I am so very lucky that I have such an intelligent, supportive husband, who is a fantastic sounding board for all my questions and thought processes.

And who is so strong for me, when I need help picking myself up off the floor, after those occasional overwhelming moments, when it feels like it's all too much and I want to give up.  :)

(via www.brainpickings.org)